Post by Gilberto on Aug 14, 2014 18:06:04 GMT -5
So everyone knows about Robin Williams by now. The internet has been flooded with stories about what happened and how great he was and what an amazingly positive impact he had on the world. Which leads a lot of people to wonder why he would have done what he did. It started a necessary national conversation about clinical depression and what drives people to suicide. I admit that my own opinions were reductive in their assessment of the issue, that I thought suicide was essentially a selfish act. But when confronted by it, like with most issues that speak to the state of a person's psychological and emotional troubles, it's a lot harder to hold a simple or direct opinion about what takes hold of someone when they're in a fragile state.
I read a lot of articles about the suicidal state of mind and particularly why humorists seem to have suicidal tendencies. I won't go into the details, but there are some compelling arguments. What I realized in reading all of that, besides the fact that it left me emotionally drained and depressed, was that - aside from the part about literally having suicidal thoughts - all those articles could have been about me. I have never considered ending my own life, but I relate to those people who feel like they have to be funny to make people like them. I relate to that insecurity when it comes to showing people who you really are and being rejected when you fail to be that interesting, entertaining person who got their attention in the first place. It's difficult to weigh that need to be loved with the need to be understood.
And I assume some of you probably feel that same way too. We all try to be our more interesting selves when we enter the arena of social media and the strange virtual reality of the internet, but even in real life there's a constant sense of obligation when it comes to who people expect us to be. And maybe you're so steeped in that persona that you believe no one really knows you at all. That's true enough. We all have worlds inside us and in a given lifetime we never even manage to know ourselves, but I promise you that more of you is understood and loved by the people around you than you will ever know. Whoever you are, wherever you are, there are people around you who've seen past the veneer that you've created and caught a glimpse of the person underneath, and they may not fully understand you, but they love you just for the person you are. You have touched lives and you have made a difference in this world, and if no one ever told you that it's because they're every bit as baffled and broken and awkwardly insecure about expressing their feelings as you are. But I promise you it's true. Whatever you're doing, don't give up. Wherever you are, you are not alone. And however you're feeling right now, it's okay, it's going to be all right, and there are more people who know you and love you than the demons whispering in your ear will ever admit.
I read a lot of articles about the suicidal state of mind and particularly why humorists seem to have suicidal tendencies. I won't go into the details, but there are some compelling arguments. What I realized in reading all of that, besides the fact that it left me emotionally drained and depressed, was that - aside from the part about literally having suicidal thoughts - all those articles could have been about me. I have never considered ending my own life, but I relate to those people who feel like they have to be funny to make people like them. I relate to that insecurity when it comes to showing people who you really are and being rejected when you fail to be that interesting, entertaining person who got their attention in the first place. It's difficult to weigh that need to be loved with the need to be understood.
And I assume some of you probably feel that same way too. We all try to be our more interesting selves when we enter the arena of social media and the strange virtual reality of the internet, but even in real life there's a constant sense of obligation when it comes to who people expect us to be. And maybe you're so steeped in that persona that you believe no one really knows you at all. That's true enough. We all have worlds inside us and in a given lifetime we never even manage to know ourselves, but I promise you that more of you is understood and loved by the people around you than you will ever know. Whoever you are, wherever you are, there are people around you who've seen past the veneer that you've created and caught a glimpse of the person underneath, and they may not fully understand you, but they love you just for the person you are. You have touched lives and you have made a difference in this world, and if no one ever told you that it's because they're every bit as baffled and broken and awkwardly insecure about expressing their feelings as you are. But I promise you it's true. Whatever you're doing, don't give up. Wherever you are, you are not alone. And however you're feeling right now, it's okay, it's going to be all right, and there are more people who know you and love you than the demons whispering in your ear will ever admit.