Apocalypse Party: The Human Centipede Debate

[Gilberto]

In this installment of "Apocalypse Party" by Sean Gilbert, difficult questions are asked and answered and argued about, such as which section of a human centipede would you rather be?

The Human Centipede Debate

Buy the "Apocalypse Party" paperback

Download "Apocalypse Party" for Kindle

[malus]

It's only the character in the book that defends being section C, right?

You, yourself, Sean, the real person, you aren't actually advocating that section C, is better than section B, right?

I mean, that is the joke here, right?

[Gilberto]

No, that conversation happened in real life. With A off the table, I am staunchly in favor of section C vs. B.

B gets it on both ends! Why can't you understand that, world?

[lynn]

I'm so in agreement with you Sean, I would vote C at all times. There's the problem with not getting the nutrients, but considering how the B gets their nutrients I think that dying quicker due to not having someone shit in your mouth would be preferable.

[malus]

Sean: “B gets it on both ends! Why can't you understand that, world?’

Lynn: “I'm so in agreement with you Sean, I would vote C at all times.”

Well, I guess it’s like there are iOS people and Android people, and room enough, arguably, for all. ;D

But let me put this out there; I see section ‘B’ as the obvious superior choice, EVEN PERHAPS INCLUDING in comparison to section ‘A’.

Yes, I know, this may comes as some surprise. Here are my reasons:
1- EVERYONE agrees that the prized position in a cuddle puddle is dead center. DEAD CENTER. See section ‘B’.
2- A hug is therapeutic. You will need to GIVE AND RECEIVE MANY hugs once you are transformed into a HUMAN F'N CENTIPEDE. There is only one position that can both GIVE AND RECEIVE hugs. See section ‘B’.
3- Hypothetical: You are section ‘C’. Your back itches REALLY REALLY REAAAALLLLY bad. WAT DU? See section ‘B’.
4- Scratchy toilet paper? Chipotlaway? Embarrassing gas? See section ‘B’.
5- Bruised Knees? Tired of crawling around on all fours? Which section can simply tuck up and “hammock maneuver” between the other two? See section ‘B’.

I could go on, but this is a good start. I think that the idea of “‘B’ gets it on both ends!” is just a little antagonistic and short sighted. This is a quality of life issue here.

You are already a human centipede. I mean, who cares who poops where at this point?

I'm an iPhone gal BTW. Maybe there IS some strange correlation here.

Thoughts?

[malus]

I think what the world needs now, is a little more pro Section 'B' Human Centipede advocacy and a little less "getting it from both ends" antagonism Sean.

That's all I'm trying to say here.

A little love.

and hugs.



EDIT- POST #50!! ALL PRAISE TACGNOL!!!

[lynn]

B over A? Now I really know you're a madwoman. There is no reasoning with you then.

[Gilberto]

And you can keep those hugs, too, considering your definition of the term.

[malus]

You know, as Section 'B', I'm fairly certain I could learn to drive Section 'A', as well.

Just another thought.

I gotta go watch Elysium, then I'll be back.

<3

[lynn]

It's amusing to note here that you have hit on the one sure fire way of making Gilbert and I agree on something.

[malus]

And so you see Lynn, this is what Section 'B', is all about - building bridges, making connections, bringing people together, if you will.

I think we've all grown. <3