Better zombie wars techniques

[lynn]

I went out to my in-laws' farm on the weekend, and it got me to thinking about how zombie movies are made by townies. I was thinking this while we were buzzing around the hills in the back of a ute shooting at feral animals that were getting on the farm. I was thinking, this technique would work pretty well on zombies too. The ute is pretty multi-terrain, it's fast enough to get away from any chasing zombies, and you can sit the gun on the top of it and line up any zombies to kill that way. Much better than being on foot.
Anyway, then I got to thinking about other farm machinery that would be useful against zombies, when we got talking about the neighbours' new "header" which I'm not certain exactly what it is but it has something to do with harvesting plants. And I realised that a whole hoard of zombies would be nothing against some of the massive farm machinery they have these days, have you seen those big chopping wheels attached to huge tractors they use just to loosen up the dirt to get the seeds in there? I reckon you could take a few hundred zombies in a few seconds with one of those, and they'd be dismembered enough not to have to worry about coming after them... and they'd be buried at the same time, turned into compost, so they could decompose and have a peaceful existence as a new part of the circle of life... I don't know if I'd eat plants grown there in future but... I'm getting off track. Why do we keep making noise about which gun to use on the zombies when clearly the best weapon would be a tractor with a hoe on the back? This also ties into my post-apocalypse suggestion that you should move to a farm when it all goes down, cos every farm has chickens and you can eat them.


farm machinery; 150
zombies; 0

[broox]

I remember a part in GTA San Andreas where you get to drive around a big thresher thingy on a farm and run over people while being attacked by a gang. The hard part was that it was so slow and people kept climbing up the side and pulling me out. You'd need to armor that thing up a little.

[lynn]

It depends if they are fast or slow zombies. But if you get a nice big one they're pretty tall and solid. You could have one person doing the mowing and have another there taking pot shots.