Cavemen vs. Astronauts

[Gilberto]

Let's start off with a Whedon classic: Who would win - Cavemen or Astronauts?

[lynn]

I reckon if it was Cosmonauts they'd win; they're hardcore. And the old-school astronauts, like Buzz, who punch out little idiot people who accuse them of lying. I reckon he'd win. But not the crazy nappy-wearing astronauts. They'd get bonked on the head.

[ringoosu]

Wouldn't this be like the classic Gorn vs Kirk matchup?

The Astronaut could just build himself a diamond launcher.
Though I saw on mythbusters they'd blow themselves up in the process.

[Gilberto]

I don't know, a caveman could probably get the drop on a guy trying to build a diamond cannon. Sometimes it's best to go with the handiest weapon, like a big stick.

[lynn]

Cavemen had spears too. Point big sticks.

[Scary Gary]

It depends on the situation. Are you talking a one-on-one battle in an arena or 10-to-1 out in the open. Is there time to strategize and MacGyver-up, or is it on immediately?

Given time, I'll take the astronaut over a handful of cavemen. In fact, I'll wager that a small group of astronauts would take out a whole tribe of cavemen if given a few days of preparation. I qualify that statement on the fact that astronauts are trained in multiple sciences and should be able to produce some effective weapons. Also, the fact that 500 Spanish were able to take down the Aztec Empire of many million.

[lynn]

The only thing would be; have the Astronauts been spending much time in space lately? Because after a while in zero gravity they lose their ability to do shit all, their muscles get all weak. That could play into it.

[Gilberto]

I might actually favor cavemen on the science of making weapons. They come from a tougher world than that of the Aztecs; fighting for survival is pretty much all they do. Astronauts are smart and survival-minded, but I'm not sure how superior they would be in the face of pure savagery.

[iantruelsen]

I would take an astronaut over a caveman to fix my toaster oven, but when it comes to violence, I would give it to the guys (and gals) that get the most practice.

On the other hand, wasn't there a woman astronaut a few years back that put on a diaper, grabbed a gun and drove half way across the country to kill someone. She showed some caveman work ethic there.

[lynn]

If she's the best astronaut they have then they'll lose, because she never even got her kill on (thank goodness of course).