Post by Gilberto on Dec 12, 2009 16:06:09 GMT -5
CHAPTER TWO
BILLABONG BLITZ
Three months later.
As the hangar doors pulled open, bright sunlight blasted in revealing three silhouetted figures. In slow motion they strode out as techno music played from... somewhere.
On the left, the svelte female robot, VRON, armed to her synthetic teeth and pregnant with Sonny’s cyberchild. On the right, telepathic Bunyip, hair bouncing with each step, spinning his ancient Aussie stick weapon in his fancy Aussie martial arts way. In the center, Sonny Tropicana, unshaven and clad oddly in black leather.
Sonny thought back to the months of training. They were steeled and ready. Now was the time to deal with Regis Lagune and the Rotwang Design Institute. The three came to a stop and looked up at the swarm covering the sky like an unexpected night.
Pumpkins at the ready, sir, Sonny heard the Bunyip say in his head.
“Shut up, Bunyip,” he growled, then looked to VRON. “You ready?” The crystals in his heels contained all the data they would need. This was the moment they’d been waiting for.
“Initiating program for data interface,” she assured him.
The bees were descending. If this didn’t work, they were done for. But if it didn’t work, everyone was anyway. Sonny slipped off his shoe and inserted the heel into VRON’s uplink port. Turning it counter-clockwise a full revolution, he said: “This is it, baby, initiate final sequence for ‘Pitching, Not Catching’ mode; setting: ‘Shag of Death’.”
After a few seconds of loading, VRON’s eyes, even the lazy one, turned red with fury. Her pelvis began rapid fire thrusts while VRON belted out the phrase “Who’s your daddy now, bitch!!!” With each pelvic gyration, the gender-confused hunk of bolts would take out a handful of the robo-bees. Any bees fortunate enough to escape VRON’s stroke of fury were crushed to death by the spinning pumpkins projecting from the Bunyip’s pantaloons. The earth drank much green bee blood on this day.
With a mighty telepathic roar, Bunyip slammed his last spinning pumpkin on the remaining cyberbees, causing a shockwave so great it made CGI artists smile and made thousands of koalas drop from their eucalyptus trees for miles around.
Victory. Sweet victory. Bunyip got on one knee and kissed his furry biceps.
Sonny reminded the Bunyip: “Don’t kiss ‘em too soon, we’ve still got to deal with those Emus.”
VRON’s head flew around in an Excorcist circle then flew off her shoulders with the force of a cow farting. It thudded onto the ground by Sonny’s feet.
“Dammit.” Sonny shook his fist at the sky.
“Revenge!” A god-like voice replied with a cackle.
“Ahh, a Banshee!” The Bunyip ran inside screaming.
“Emu approach detected” VRON’s head spoke from the ground...
Sonny smiled. “This is exactly how we planned it.”
The modular robots were the key. It was an old enemy coming up with a few new tricks. That meant Rotwang was actually working for the World Crime League. They’d learned their lesson the previous year when Sonny had destroyed their army of thin men by crashing the central computer that controlled them. These modular bots were independent, but capable of combining strength.
The emus mouths were wide open and the bees were flying in willingly. They weren’t eating the bees, they were interfacing.
With a hard lob of his other shoe, Sonny took the first emu’s head off. Carrying VRON’s head to it, he unlatched it’s neckbolt and put her head in its place. She opened her mouth and the bees began to fly in.
“Send the signal now, VRON,” he commanded her.
This was it. Sonny watched as the bees flew in and out of VRON’s mouth, spreading the message she was encoding in them throughout the herd. There was only one way to fight modular robots. You had to scatter them, confuse them, and destroy them one by one.
BILLABONG BLITZ
Three months later.
As the hangar doors pulled open, bright sunlight blasted in revealing three silhouetted figures. In slow motion they strode out as techno music played from... somewhere.
On the left, the svelte female robot, VRON, armed to her synthetic teeth and pregnant with Sonny’s cyberchild. On the right, telepathic Bunyip, hair bouncing with each step, spinning his ancient Aussie stick weapon in his fancy Aussie martial arts way. In the center, Sonny Tropicana, unshaven and clad oddly in black leather.
Sonny thought back to the months of training. They were steeled and ready. Now was the time to deal with Regis Lagune and the Rotwang Design Institute. The three came to a stop and looked up at the swarm covering the sky like an unexpected night.
Pumpkins at the ready, sir, Sonny heard the Bunyip say in his head.
“Shut up, Bunyip,” he growled, then looked to VRON. “You ready?” The crystals in his heels contained all the data they would need. This was the moment they’d been waiting for.
“Initiating program for data interface,” she assured him.
The bees were descending. If this didn’t work, they were done for. But if it didn’t work, everyone was anyway. Sonny slipped off his shoe and inserted the heel into VRON’s uplink port. Turning it counter-clockwise a full revolution, he said: “This is it, baby, initiate final sequence for ‘Pitching, Not Catching’ mode; setting: ‘Shag of Death’.”
After a few seconds of loading, VRON’s eyes, even the lazy one, turned red with fury. Her pelvis began rapid fire thrusts while VRON belted out the phrase “Who’s your daddy now, bitch!!!” With each pelvic gyration, the gender-confused hunk of bolts would take out a handful of the robo-bees. Any bees fortunate enough to escape VRON’s stroke of fury were crushed to death by the spinning pumpkins projecting from the Bunyip’s pantaloons. The earth drank much green bee blood on this day.
With a mighty telepathic roar, Bunyip slammed his last spinning pumpkin on the remaining cyberbees, causing a shockwave so great it made CGI artists smile and made thousands of koalas drop from their eucalyptus trees for miles around.
Victory. Sweet victory. Bunyip got on one knee and kissed his furry biceps.
Sonny reminded the Bunyip: “Don’t kiss ‘em too soon, we’ve still got to deal with those Emus.”
VRON’s head flew around in an Excorcist circle then flew off her shoulders with the force of a cow farting. It thudded onto the ground by Sonny’s feet.
“Dammit.” Sonny shook his fist at the sky.
“Revenge!” A god-like voice replied with a cackle.
“Ahh, a Banshee!” The Bunyip ran inside screaming.
“Emu approach detected” VRON’s head spoke from the ground...
Sonny smiled. “This is exactly how we planned it.”
The modular robots were the key. It was an old enemy coming up with a few new tricks. That meant Rotwang was actually working for the World Crime League. They’d learned their lesson the previous year when Sonny had destroyed their army of thin men by crashing the central computer that controlled them. These modular bots were independent, but capable of combining strength.
The emus mouths were wide open and the bees were flying in willingly. They weren’t eating the bees, they were interfacing.
With a hard lob of his other shoe, Sonny took the first emu’s head off. Carrying VRON’s head to it, he unlatched it’s neckbolt and put her head in its place. She opened her mouth and the bees began to fly in.
“Send the signal now, VRON,” he commanded her.
This was it. Sonny watched as the bees flew in and out of VRON’s mouth, spreading the message she was encoding in them throughout the herd. There was only one way to fight modular robots. You had to scatter them, confuse them, and destroy them one by one.