Human Centipede Debate

[Gilberto]

I didn't think this would be necessary, but I was shocked when an enraged debate broke out among my friends as to which segment of the human centipede is actually the worst to be. Obviously it's not A, but we were a house divided on whether B or C was the worst. Sound off, people...

[lynn]

I do think B would be worse, joined at both ends and all. What argument can you give for C being the worst? They don't get to poo in anybody? They end poorly in the movie? Either way there's no winner.

[Scary Gary]

B

For all the things Lynn said.

"Worst" part of C is having to eat shit that has been processed twice. Though, I don't know that that would be worst than eating fresh shit while having a face attached to your ass. Either way, you're still eating shit.

[lynn]

I think there'd be so much less shit for the C though, there can't be that much left after it's processed twice, right? And twice-processed shit... man, sorry I don't know if I can finish this sentence. Better because it's smoother, or worse because it has less foodstuff in it? I think by this stage you don't even care.

[Gilberto]

I agree completely. The strongest argument for C being worse (besides the incorrect assertion that they eat 2 people's shit instead of one) was in fact the point that B "gets" to shit in someone's mouth (as though that's a bonus).

[lynn]

Ok, that sounds like someone I do not want to be knowing. Is the person asserting that shitting in someone's mouth is a bonus of being stitched to an ass-monster one of those "eat the dead" people? Sounds like someone who might need purging from the friends list when it goes down Gilbert, I'm saying this both as your friend and as a certified Zombie General.

[Scary Gary]

Whatever benefit one gets from shitting in another person's mouth is outweighed by the fact that you have a person sown to your ass. First of all, you have the comfort (or lack there of) factor. How comfortable could you ever get with a 100-200 pound living tail? Second of all, you are always going to have someone's hot nostril air blowing up your back. On muggy days like today, That would suck something fierce.

One question from someone who hasn't seen this gem; do they still have their tongues attached?

As far as twice processed poo, I assume that the second processing isn't getting much out of the primary poo. If, by some chance, there is a decent portion of the primary poo that is being absorbed by B; then B would have to shit at a lesser frequency then A. If that is the case, then C eats less shit then B and there would be another reason why C is better.

Lastly, this conversation is rather disturbing. I'm just saying.

[Gilberto]

We're past the point of shame. The diagram is not very accurate, but I assume taste is out because the intestine is run through the mouth-hole; it wouldn't be processed twice because it's being processed once for all 3 bodies at the same time.

[lynn]

I strongly disagree Gilbert. They are still 3 separate entities, it's just they're sewed on to each other. It's not like the first person processes it and passes it around via his blood stream. You're making it out like he's some super-scientist who can join up their digestive as well as their vascular systems, which would be necessary to do what you're suggesting.
Gary, I know he removed some teeth but I am unsure about tongue. Isn't it needed for swallowing? Swallowing would also be a problem when joined to a hole like that, necessary suction may not be achieved. I would think that the risk of suffocation would be high, either with stuff stuck in your throat or just from lacking much clear airway through nose. What if you got a cold?

[Scary Gary]

The film makers could have avoided this whole debate if they decided to make a Human Donut instead of a centipede.

Looks like I may have to break down and watch this one at some point.

[lynn]

Hell, couldn't they have just made a proper donut and saved our stomachs? Apparently they're working on a sequel that will be less scientifically accurate. 23 bs, or something like that.

[Gilberto]

I don't understand the argument that the first film is scientifically accurate. You've got sketch that looks like it was drawn by a 5 year old of an intestinal tract that begins in the first person's throat and continues on through the other 2 people without even a stomach. They don't even understand the digestive process for a single person, much less 3.

[lynn]

They got a doctor in, who apparently refused to be named as aiding the movie, and he told them about cutting the skin flaps so the subjects couldn't just rip themselves apart.
And about the diagram, he's a doctor not an artist, dammit! He knows what he's doing, it's just a rough diagram so the subjects know what is going on. They don't know enough not to go off with a creepy Nazi into the woods and drink his funny-tasting water they probably don't know where a intestine is, so for his purposes it's fine.

[Gilberto]

How do the ass flaps keeping you from ripping free? They make it grosser, but you could still pull loose. I would pin the mandible to the pelvic bone.

[lynn]

I think the concept of the ass flaps is just more skin attached to other person's skin, and more solid skin than just sewing the lips on would be. It doesn't stop you pulling apart completely but it would make it more difficult.
What I didn't understand was why he had to mess with the knees, surely surgery on the knees would make it more difficult for them to soon be crawling around, and their positioning would have made anything else so naturally prohibitive as to render it unnecessary.