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Post by broox on Aug 19, 2011 11:28:44 GMT -5
Anyone seen this yet? Reviews are in... not so good, mi amigos, not so good....  |
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wilson
Robot Monkey
Posts: 154
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Post by wilson on Aug 19, 2011 14:57:14 GMT -5
What do you expect when Conan doesn't punch a camel. You're messing with what is in Conan's heart now.
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Post by broox on Aug 19, 2011 21:27:46 GMT -5
He probably doesn't even bed down (read: quasi rape) a slave woman while in a cage in this version. It was doomed from the start.
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Post by lynn on Aug 20, 2011 4:20:55 GMT -5
I've seen it. I enjoyed Cowboys and Aliens more. It really was just a fairly standardly middling sword and sorcery movie, with none of the epic awesomeness that made the original Conan stand out. The was no journey, story arc, epic romance, nobody learned anything and nobody was set free from any hypnotist tyrant. it was all a bit of an anticlimax really.
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Post by drivebyluna on Aug 21, 2011 13:51:05 GMT -5
Agreed. Neither good, nor bad, it was just kinda there. Although I did enjoy the fight scene on the big circle thingie at the end.
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Post by lynn on Aug 22, 2011 17:49:22 GMT -5
I don't know if it was the 3D but the background scenery looked really fake in some scenes. I suspect 3D isn't kin on bodgily build things. It was like Monty Python "It's only a model!"
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Post by Gilberto on Aug 22, 2011 18:06:46 GMT -5
Too FX-oriented. Between that and the 3D I couldn't connect with the action, and the story wasn't there. It didn't make sense and it had no ending. They tried so hard to make it this Lord of the Rings kind of epic at the beginning, then at the end it's just a little sword fighting and that's it. The original film was operatic; this one was just Masters of the Universe or Kull the Conqueror. I agree: Not awful, but nothing special.
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Post by lynn on Aug 22, 2011 22:47:38 GMT -5
I agree about the ending. I was hoping that princess would just suddenly turn into the witch again and each his head. The old movie had such a great ending, with him saving all those people from the cult and just sitting there with that voice-over about how awesome he is and you believe it because you've just seen all the shit he can do, and his determined expression.
I liked the beginning, it was the best bit of the film.
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Post by Gilberto on Aug 23, 2011 16:15:35 GMT -5
Well, I thought the mask was supposed to make dude a god, but all they did was sword fight. In a real Conan story he would have turned into something awful. And his daughter was a witch but all she did was scratch people with her Freddy Krueger hand. And the chick was supposed to turn into a super witch, but that didn't happen at all. It felt like they ran out of money at the end, like Monty Python, so they just stopped.
Let's not bring Morgan Freeman into this if we don't mean it.
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Post by lynn on Aug 23, 2011 18:49:38 GMT -5
I didn't even know it was Morgan Freeman until Ben pointed it out, possibly because I was doing the lined for him.
I got annoyed at the daughter scratching people. There's that one moment where she's meant to be tasting their blood and she plunges her hand into someone's stomach, covers herself with person 1's blood, then makes a tiny scratch on person 2 and licks it and says "Not her." and Ben and I looked at each other and said "how did she taste person 2 through all of person 1's blood?" Which is clearly not what we should have been thinking. We should have been thinking "Why has she got such stupid hair?"
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Post by Gilberto on Aug 24, 2011 17:22:45 GMT -5
I didn't mind the hair. This movie wasted some first class hotties. Even in the sex scene Conan's bare ass is more prominently featured than Rachel Nichols.
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Post by lynn on Aug 24, 2011 22:42:32 GMT -5
I thought Rose looked Pregnant through part of the movie, one minute she's just wearing undies and a half-flap the next she's wearing a neck-high pretend chain-mail dress. Unflattering.
And so many things they could have done with Rachel Nichols, who isn't afraid to bare some stuff. They chuck her in the ocean without a wet t-shirt scene, they have a sex scene that shows more man-but than lovely lady and they deliberately have her chick-fight against a lady with claw hands and she never gets her dress ripped off. They really weren't thinking for this movie.
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Post by drivebyluna on Aug 25, 2011 9:31:14 GMT -5
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Post by broox on Aug 25, 2011 16:47:00 GMT -5
I kinda feel bad for the guy after reading this. It's such a collaborative process that in the end who do you blame when it's a mess?
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Post by Gilberto on Aug 25, 2011 17:51:19 GMT -5
You blame everyone. In particular, the director is to blame because he's responsible for the creative vision of the work. The producer also bears a lot of responsibility because he's supposed to keep it grounded and on track.
A lot of bad movies have been made by people who fully intended to make good ones (most of them, actually). While I wouldn't call this movie bad (it has a lot going for it, it's just that the moving parts don't fit together to make a functioning machine), but the principle is still the same: The first priority is hiring people who are good at making movies. Secondary to that is finding someone who loves the source material. In all honesty, a professional filmmaker who takes their craft seriously will familiarize themselves with the material even if they weren't previously familiar with it. Fans are usually too close to the work to judge it.
But this was a conceptual misfire. The acting, directing and FX were well executed - the script just wasn't there. That's the least forgivable mistake because it means they didn't understand the story they intended to tell. If you have no story, you have no movie.
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